


Consequences

by janetcarter



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drowning, Gen, Motherhood, Phobias, Telepathy, Trauma, parenting struggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26720431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janetcarter/pseuds/janetcarter
Summary: Helen must confront the reasoning behind a young Ashley's reckless behavior.
Relationships: Ashley Magnus & Helen Magnus
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Hurt/Comfort Bingo - Round 11





	Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> For the Hurt/Comfort Bingo prompt "Phobias" and the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt "Drowning."

Ashley was always testing her, even as a child.

Helen had been doing work in the backyard while the children played tag. "Careful, you two!" she shouted when Henry's scream alerted her to Ashley tackling the poor boy. Helen studied the papers once again, trying to speed through signatures before the next interruption. As rough as Ashley could be, at least her demeanor had socially helped Henry out of his shell since his arrival years before. Physically, however, he was still outmatched.

When Henry later yelled Helen's name, she assumed Ashley had hit him too hard, that he'd be on the ground with a scraped knee and Ashley teasing him. But when she scanned the yard, she realized Ashley was nowhere to be found.

"Ashley?" Her heart raced. Had John found them? "Ashley!"

"She… she…" Henry pointed shakily to the water. Apart from a few ripples, its surface was still.

It only seemed to get farther away as Helen darted toward it. When she finally reached its edge… her legs refused to move. All she could think about was the Titanic, her near fatal drowning. She was as paralyzed now as she had been then by the frigid water. And now… with one foot barely in, the other too heavy to lift, her daughter would perish from the same fate.

A loud splash shook her from her state just in time to recognize her old friend diving into the water. She had never felt more relieved; nor had she ever felt more helpless.

Before she knew it, he was ferrying Ashley back to the yard. Ashley was choking and trembling, but it meant she was conscious. As her old friend patted against Ashley's back, causing the water to sputter out, Helen threw her arms around her. The action soaked her outfit, but it would never be as water-logged as if she had been the one to dive in. She pulled Ashley closer.

And then she pulled away. "Why on earth would you do something so reckless?"

Ashley coughed again. "I thought… I thought it'd be fun."

"Fun?" Helen shouted. "To drown? You scared us all half to death, you could've…"

"I'm fine, mom." But her voice was still weak.

_ Mum. _ When had she gotten too old for "mummy"?

"We're going inside. You're coming with me for an examination."

Ashley groaned, but at this point any noise from her was noise Helen welcomed.

-

At night, after checking to make sure Ashley was actually in bed, Helen went to the mermaid. She projected the earlier events from her mind and leaned against the glass.

"They know not to go near the water," Helen said.

The mermaid's glow swam through her mind, lighting memories of Helen's own tumultuous childhood. A way of saying "When did you ever listen as a child?" Helen figured. 

"Then how do you propose I discipline a child who takes after me?"

The mermaid eased Helen into the next memories like dipping toes in a lake, rather than plunging her into the icy waters she'd saved her from a century prior. There were several memories blurring together as though they were mirrors reflecting mirrors. Each held a vision of the same door, the one to her father's office, slamming in her face.

The mermaid pushed farther, causing Helen to rely on the glass for support. Beneath every fractal was the same bundle of feelings: restriction, loneliness, rejection…

Neglect.

Helen's chest tightened. "Are you blaming  _ me _ for what happened today?" She already felt guilty enough for freezing the way she had, even though such a reaction was not something she had had any success quelling over the years. Anything further was not something she could accept. Her work was necessary; and while yes, it took time and attention away from family affairs, she had never kept Ashley in the dark when it came to Abnormals. 

In embracing such a dangerous world, Ashley needed to be responsible for her own actions. If she did not take that responsibility, she would only put herself in more danger in the future. 

The mermaid loosened her mental hold and pushed herself farther back into her tank, leaving Helen looking at her own weary reflection in the glass.

"How dare…" She couldn't finish the sentence. It would satisfy an anger that something in her knew was defensive, but taking the leap to actually listen to such a whisper, especially after all she had endured today already, meant jumping from a height too great to survive. 

A chime echoed in her head as she stormed off, letting her know the mermaid wasn't done with her, but she couldn't force herself to care. Her emotions were too much of a storm to navigate without crushing her. They distracted her from her surroundings until she found herself at the door to Ashley's room.

"Ashley?" she whispered, cracking open the door.

No response from her moonlit face. Given the slight rise and fall of her chest, Ashley was either asleep or ignoring her.

Helen gently sat beside her on the mattress, careful not to wake her, and stroked her hair. "What you did today was incredibly dangerous." It was the same speech she'd given her before. Helen bit her lip as her childhood memories grazed her heart. "I'm glad you're safe, Ashley. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." 

Helen kissed her soft cheek, took another moment to watch her child's peaceful slumber, and pulled herself away. Then, there was a whisper she heard herself say before she realized it'd come from her own lips:  _ "I'm sorry." _

Helen quietly closed the door behind her, vision blurry, and left a sleeping Ashley in the dark. 


End file.
